sabato 11 gennaio 2014

Storielle da informatti

Questo post è un esperimento altamente sperimentale; tutto da vedere come va a finire (o si dovrebbe dire dove va a parare).

Intanto riguarda programmatori e dintorni, tutto da vedere se si riesce a capire (chi ha detto background?) ma forse, chissà...
Poi non l'ho tradotto, troppo lavoro (e non sei capace) dirà qualcuno, lo so, lo sento. Invece no! ho visto che se costretti i ggiovani ce la fanno, dopo pianti, lamentele e esclamazioni varie contro il destino avverso, certo.
Ne riporto 10 (decimale) estratte da una serie di migliaia, link in fondo al post. Ovviamente la selezione è personale, ho tentato di estrarre un campionario rappresentativo tra quelle che mi sono piaciute di più ma, ovviamente, il tutto è altamente soggettivo. Potete scegliere le vostre ma attenzione: impiegherete più tempo di quello che pensate, anche tenendo conto della Legge di Hofstadter-Bruna (wow, uau! un post di quando il Tamburo era giovane, sarà una sorpresa per qualcuno (forse)).
A young Programmer and his Project Manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young programmer are interested in each other, because they are giving each other looks. Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound of a kiss followed by the sound of a slap.
When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word. The grandmother is thinking to herself, “It was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I’m glad she slapped him.”
The Project manager is sitting there thinking, “I didn’t know the young tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn’t missed him when she slapped me!”
The young woman was sitting and thinking, “I’m glad the guy kissed me, but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!”
The young programmer sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. He thought to himself, “Life is good. How often does a guy have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his Project manager all at the same time!”

When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.

A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”
The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, ‘You can have anything you want’.”
The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”

If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.

Q: "Whats the object-oriented way to become wealthy?"
A: Inheritance

["hip","hip"]
(hip hip array!)

To understand what recursion is, you must first understand recursion.

Richard Stallman, Linus Torvalds, and Donald Knuth engage in a discussion on whose impact on computer science was the greatest.
Stallman: "God told me I have programmed the best editor in the world!"
Torvalds: "Well, God told me that I have programmed the best operating system in the world!"
Knuth: "Wait, wait, I never said that."

Don't anthropomorphize computers. They hate that!

The Consultant's Exam
    Q1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
(Answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. )
This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.
    Q2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? (and No, it is not "Open the refigerator, put in the elephant and close the refrigerator?")
(Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door.) This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.
    Q3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend, except one. Which animal does not attend?
(Answer: The elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator.) This tests your memory.
Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true analytical abilities.
    Q4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?
(Answer: You just jump into the river and swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the Lion King's Meeting.)

Your mommas so fat that not even Dijkstra is able to find a shortest path around her.

OK, basta. Che ne dite dell'esperimento sperimentale?
In ogni caso chi trovasse la cosa amusevole e volesse approfondire può fare un salto ('tensiun, nèh!) qui: What is your best programmer joke?


Stack Overflow per certe classi di persone è fondamentale, proprio come Google o Facebook per altre classi.

2 commenti:

  1. Stamattina ho commentato, ma non vedo il commento... mah? Mangiato da Blogger?
    Belle. Quella della ragazza in bici girava al Poli, soggetto due ingegneri, of course. Quelle delle giraffe in freezer ricordano le nostre degli elefanti nella 500 e al cinema.
    Qualcuna non l'ho capita, ma la mia programmazione si è fermata all'assembler Z80 e al GW-Basic... :-)

    RispondiElimina
  2. Beh, tutte carine. Quella sul C++ come martello secondo me, oltre ad essere simpatica è anche vera (ma io non faccio conto). Poi c'è l'ultima che non è male, ma non raccontatela a Dijkstra.

    Riguardo ai luoghi frequentati da certe classi di persone, oltre a StackOverflow, con cui si comincia la giornata, non dimentichiamoci di GitHub per gli aperitivi e di CodeProject per una lezioncina tra intimi.

    RispondiElimina